Archive for September, 2006

A Golden Age of an Era Lost

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

Somewhere in the ramblings of a woman’s childhood memories, recollections of new political views entered the mind of a lanky, nine year-old girl with scraggly blond hair. Remembering a yesteryear not so long ago (as it now seems), a new-age president-to-be was center stage of a political crisis.

Now, over three decades ago, the Iran-Contra affair and American hostages held against their wills, is a long forgotten and bad memory. But to those few who watched newsbreaking stories unfold across globally-televised TV screens, news events of such startling revelations still remain embedded in today’s 30 and 40-something generation.

Sitting upon an L-shaped sofa, all eyes in my family were glued to a then-large 19″ television screen. Historical events that would eventually shape our lives in the ways we think, feel and act were being revealed to us through formally, modern conveyances. As a child growing up in a large military family, we were taught at an early age to keep up with news reports. Living on the economy in a foreign land compelled all of us to do so, as it was a matter of national concern.

Watching reporters tell stories of American hostages in Iran, most US citizens demanded action on the part of the United States but didn’t quite know how to accomplish this task. Up until that time, President Carter was in office and at some point, I was ready for a change of American leadership.

There I was, a nine year-old girl in the third grade. Headstrong and always going against the grain of normal standards, I didn’t settle for anything less than extraordinary conditions. Never thinking “republican,” nor thinking “democratic,” I invisioned a leader who was strong in presence, character and who wasn’t afraid to state his or her opinions without fear of rebuttle. At the time, (and still today), my parents were die-hard democrats. When it came to re-election time, I wanted so badly to have my say and be able to vote.

Early in 1980, I kept track of the political crusade of both then, Mr. Ronald Reagan and President Jimmy Carter. In keeping up with American politics, my parents would often remind me that I needed to stand behind President Carter and that he was much better than Ronald Reagan. I had different ideologies than that of my parents and didn’t quite know how to express my own political views.

Later, when Ronald Reagan was nominated President of the United States by popular vote (which my family of eight — I was the youngest), I silently smiled to myself with satisfaction. There was something about President Reagan that I seemed to like. Perhaps it was charisma, or maybe it was power that I sensed. Not sure anymore what exactly it was that attracted me to his political policy, but I couldn’t seem to get enough of his presence.

Being that I was only a child, I didn’t differentiate between “democrats” or “republicans.” To me, they were simply two different, American men with different political views. Never seeing one as being a “better person,” but moreover as a better leader. During the late 1970s and through the mid-1980s, an invisible war was taking place. This invisible war as one would call it, was later known as the “Cold War.”

America was at odds with Russia in lieu of clandestine affairs; that I am certain — Americans will never quite fathom the intense details of it all. Growing up, a “Reagonomical” youth, I fell into odds with most of my family members as they saw borders in black and white in the US Congress and Senate, as they did the presidency. Again, I did not allow party lines to divide and upstage my strong feelings. Somehow, I believed that President Reagan had prowess and stamina.

It was later in the 1980s that I would see history in the making. Perhaps a lost event in time, I recall the Berlin Wall falling from international negotiations between President Reagan and President Gorbachev. President Reagan implored President Mikhail Gorbachev, “…Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall….” and he did (November 9, 1989)– going against the grain of normalcy. Strangely enough, I wrote a poem, “Mother Russia,” in tribute to the Berlin Wall coming down. Of course, with all government restructuring, comes a heavy toll. Not just in monetary deprivation; but a sense of loss in overall familiarity in a nation, now filled with chaos.

Now, as I reflect in my early stages of 30-something, I think back to an era of international upheavel and healing processes associated with transfers of birth and decadence. Ironically, in a cruel twist of fate, President Reagan — known as the “Great Communicator,” was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 1994. To this day, a legendary leader cannot recall the greatest moments of history, nor simple facts of his own life. This fills me with a sense of loss that mere words can not begin to describe.

The epitome of a golden age of an era lost is that we so easily misplace the greatest moments of our lives in the chaos of life, itself. In doing so, we regretfully lose our own sense of being and all that we can be; (through historical experiences that have touched and shaped our lives) thus, reflections of yesterday, today and tomorrow are the cornerstones of our personal growth. If we retain yesterday as an experience, we can live in the “today,” and fulfill tomorrow with yet another exploration of life’s journey — metaphorically speaking, “…tearing down the walls…” of one’s life is the best way to rebuild the foundation on which we live.

Copyright 2003 - A Golden Age of an Era Lost
by C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot

About the Author:
C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot is the Public Relations Director & Staff Writer for Holistic Junction — Your source of information for Holistic Practitioners; Naturopathy, Naturopathic Schools, Massage Therapy Schools and Reflexology Schools; Alternative Healthcare; Insightful Literature and so much more!

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Change 101 - How to Get the Changes You Desire

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

Here’s a bold statement:

Change can be simple and easy.

It really does not have to be so hard, although sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be. And there’s really no magic involved. Although I do like this quote from science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently developed technology is indistinguishable from magic.

What I have found is that what most people need is simply someone to coach them on how to get the changes they want. Whether it’s in writing, speaking or in private consultations, I really just see myself as a “change coach”, helping people to quickly and effectively get the changes they want in their lives and to make the changes last.

With that in mind, what I’ll offer you today is a simple and effective strategy for getting the changes you want. I’ll leave it to you to apply the details from your own situation.

The change strategy is called “The 3 D’s of Change”, which stand for Decide, Do, and Distinguish. Let’s take a closer look at each of these three.

Decide

Many people talk about wanting to change, but they have never really decided to change. One of the key ways to make change easier is to make the decision that no matter what, from this day forward, things will be different.

The root word for the word decision is incision, so the word decision means to cut off any other possibility than achieving the change you desire. Once you have really decided to change, the rest is really just the details of how you are going to get from where you are to where you want to be.

So before you embark on your journey of change, make sure that you have genuinely and strongly decided that you will change. It’s kind of like the old joke, “How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has got to really want to change.”

Do

After you have decided to change, the next step is to do all the necessary things to get the changes you want. You can’t do some, you can’t do most, you must do ALL the necessary things to get the changes you want.

The really good news here is that you do not have to stumble around, blindly doing things to change, not knowing if they will help or not. Through a process called modeling, we do not have to re-invent the wheel. The process of modeling involves finding someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, finding out how they do it, and then adapting it to your own situation. Successful change always leaves a trail. All we have to do is follow it, adapt it and make it our own.

Whatever the key factors involved, the next step is to follow the acronym CMICA (pronounced ka-mee-ka). To get the changes you want, you must take Consistent-Massive-Intelligent-Creative Action. When you follow this plan, you build so much momentum that change is inevitable.

Distinguish

Another nice thing about the 3 D’s of Change is that you now get to distinguish between what is working and what is not. Are you getting the results you want? If you are, keep doing what you are doing, it’s obviously working.

If you are not getting the results you want, here’s the next two things to do:

Go back and ask yourself if you have really decided to change.

Then go back and see it you have actually done all the necessary things to change. Did you leave anything out? Did you do anything only halfway?

If you’ve decided to change and are doing all the necessary things to change and are still not getting the results you want, it’s time to change your strategy. If it’s not working, it’s not working, and it’s time to find something that does. Perhaps you are modeling the wrong people or have chosen the wrong strategies. Find someone else to model and/or choose different strategies until you are getting the results you want.

Decide, Do and Distinguish. Apply these 3 D’s of Change to your life and watch the changes start to flow.

And then, keep the change!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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Money, a Session With Joseth on Abundance and Money (Channelled)

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

(Channelled)
(This communication with Joseth happened more than a year ago, while I was focused on bringing money into my life. Apparently I still haven’t managed to manage my thoughts correctly to bring all the money into my life that I desire. However I will say that this is the first time in years that my bills are all paid and I do have a positive balance in my savings account.If there is one thing that I have really learned from this session, that is the importance of knowing exactly what I want.)

In the text below, it is a Q&A session where the initial “J” is for Joseth and “R” for Roy.

Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.

J… Roy, why are you doing this?

R…Doing What?

J…Writing at your kitchen table every morning.

R…Because, I want to, I want to express myself.

J…Then why am I expressing myself?

R…I want to do both. I want to communicate with the other parts of me. I also want to share this exprience with others. I want to open up the doors for them, so that they can do the same thing.

J…Why?

R…So that they can begin to create a life that is more enjoyable. less stressful.

J…Has this helped you?

R…Yes

J…Is your life less stressful?

R…Yes

J…Are you more joyfull?

R…Somewhat.

J…Do you have more abundance in your life?

R…No

J…So as I understand it, you want more abundance and joy in your life and you have been writing for more than three years and yet you have failed to create the things that you desire, am I correct?

R…Yes

J…Roy, what’s your problem?

R…I don’t know

R…I have been asking you for your help for the last four years. You tell me what it is that I am missing, why am I not getting what I desire?

J…Roy, you are you are getting all of it. You have all of it, you do not see it?

R…Now you got it! I do not see it, I can not touch it and I do not feel it.

J…You can not see the forest for the trees, you asked for abundance, you got abundance, you are abundantly aware!

R…Cute! But my abundance is not paying the bills! I have no money.

J…Then why didn’t you ask for money, or even the experience of no bills?

R…I thought I did, I thought abundance meant lots of money.

J…Da! Think again. You must be specific in your request. Be careful what you ask for. You asked for abundance, you have been seeking awareness, you have an abundance of awareness. Did you or did yo not get what you asked for?

R…Yes, but it’s not what I meant.

J…Do you always say what you do not mean?

R…Apparently so, I wasted four years expecting to have money and because I was not clear in what I really wanted, I did not get it. I got what I asked for but not what I desired?

J…Yes, “Now you got it.” You must be specific and very clear about what it is you want to create.

R…So now I have to wait another four years for money?

J…No, you did not have to wait four years for the abundance you now have either, you are still creating an abundance of awareness and that will continue.

J…Roy, ask for money, think about creating money and you will have money. The awareness you now have can be converted to cash. Use it to created all the money you desire. Start now and focus on money. What it is with you people? You always believe that having money is bad. You try to be nobel or deserving in your approach to asking me for money, ie “If I were rich I would give it away, I would do this for this group, this person, etc, etc. You put them first. But what you really mean, what your real root thought is “I want money for me.” “I want to spend it on me first.” Roy, it’s OK to want money for yourself first, and then give away part of the surplus or what you don’t need. It is the dishonesty that you have with you own thoughts that stops you from getting what you desire. You must be 100% honest with yourself about what you desire. You do not have to be deserving or generous or pre-qualify in any way. You only have to know that you want it, that it is your desire to possess it for whatever reason you choose. Stop trying to cover up your true thoughts, they are betraying you. Stop trying to be so noble and generous with something that you do not have. Create the money first, then you can afford to be noble and generous with it.

R…Would that not appear to be selfish?

J…So what? Be selfish first by all means, then you can afford to be generous later. YOU CANNOT GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU DO NO POSSESS. It does not matter how others would see you. It is not working now, what does being selfless have to do with it? How is being selfless benefiting anyone right now, are you giving away selflessness?

J…Always, always, always think about yourself first. Know what you desire for yourself. Create it for you own purposes, then give what you have away it that is your desire. What does it take to see how practical that is? You cannot let others interfer with manifesting what you desire simple because you want to appear more deserving. You have tried it, it doesn’t work. Their opinions do not matter in this matter. I am sure that once you have your abundance (money) there will be no less amount of opinions on how you should spend it.

J…Roy, do you now understand?

R…Yes I understand.

J…Are you going to manifest money in your life?

R…Yes!

J…When?

R…Now, it is mine now!

J…”Good, now you got it.”

Live well and prosper
Joseth

[As I mentioned at the top of this dialogue, money has been coming in, still much slower than I would like to see it. I have attracted some from different sources so it is like a river that has smaller tributaries merging into it in small amounts, it has not reached the ocean yet, but that is were my focus is. I have to overcome a lifetime of negative thought that says I’m not deserving. As I chisel away at those the successes become more frequent. Conscious manifesting does work to the degree that you believe it will, Joseth was correct]

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published five books on New Age wisdom. Roy’s books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.

You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same.

Roy’s style is honest and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS.

Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com

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The Seasons of Life, Part 1 of 5

Friday, September 29th, 2006

Life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. For the six thousand years of recorded history, as humans have entered this world, received parental instruction, classroom instruction, and gathered the experience of life; many have set for themselves ambitious goals, and dreamed lofty dreams.

As the wheel of life continues its constant turning, all human emotions appear, disappear, and appear once again.

A major challenge faced by us all is that we must learn to experience the changing of life’s cycles without being changed by them; to make a constant and conscious effort to improve ourselves in the face of changing circumstances.

That is why I believe in the power and value of attitude. As I read, ponder and speculate about people, their deeds and their destiny, I become more deeply convinced that it is our natural destiny to grow, to succeed, to prosper, and to find happiness while we are here.

By our attitude, we decide to read, or not to read. By our attitude, we decide to try or give up. By our attitude, we blame ourselves for our failure, or we blame others. Our attitude determines whether we tell the truth or lie, act or procrastinate, advance or recede, and by our own attitude we and we alone actually decide whether to succeed or fail.

How incredibly unique that a God who would create the complex and immense universe would create the human race and give to those humans the free choice that would permit them to select their own achievement or their own destruction.

This strange, but all-knowing God gave to us a delicately balanced sphere called earth. On it, he placed the intelligent human who would either develop it or destroy it. How terribly fascinating that a God would leave both projects - earth as well as humans - unfinished! Across the rivers and streams he built no bridges; he left the pictures unpainted, the songs unsung, the books unwritten, and space unexplored. For the accomplishment of those things, God created the unfinished human who, within his heart and mind, had the capacity to do all these things and more, depending upon his own choice.

Attitude determines choice, and choice determines results. All that we are, and all that we can become has indeed been left unto us. For as long as you continue to draw breath, you have the chance to complete the work in and for the earth and for yourself that God has begun for you. In the cycles and seasons of life, attitude is everything!

(Next week we will look at both winter and spring as we continue our review of the Seasons of Life)

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn


Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.
Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved
worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go to
http://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com

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Forgiveness - The Other Side

Friday, September 29th, 2006

If we are honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that the reason we have difficulty forgiving others is because we sincerely believe we are justified in our withholding forgiveness. We become the judge of the offenders and by harboring bitterness and resentment against them; it is our distorted way of meting out punishment. After all, our wounds are deep and our heart severely punctured.

At the core of our unwillingness to forgive of course, is our own selfishness—the “me” factor. We are deeply focused on what was done to “me.” We refuse to let ourselves heal and we therefore become prisoners of the self, forever pacing the narrow cell of animosity and self-pity. Some folks have sentenced themselves for life and they are still dismally serving their time.

Scripture is clear in its warning to not usurp God’s responsibility. It is not our job to “get even.” As Paul wrote to the Romans, “Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord’” (Romans 12:19). We must surrender the idea that we need to punish those who have hurt us. God has His own timetable and His own way and we have to relinquish the desire to even “get them told.”

For our own emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being, forgiveness is central. Nothing I can say would exaggerate its importance.

Every human being possesses the capacity to forgive though, granted, it may not be easy. It may not be easy to forgive because it requires an acute awareness of our own need to been forgiven.

Forgiveness has two sides that are forever linked together: the forgiveness we need from God and the forgiveness we owe to other human beings. Until you forgive others, you are not able to receive forgiveness from God. You cannot receive forgiveness because by your unwillingness to forgive, you have blocked the entrance to your heart barring God from entering. God will not force His way through. But, in recognizing and understanding our own need to be forgiven, we are released from the pride that binds and enabled through God’s power to forgive others.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, will be available soon.

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Getting Organized For The New Year - Part 2

Friday, September 29th, 2006

In part 1, we discussed a system you could use to organize your office. In this article we will discuss what material is needed to implement that system.

You will need the following items for your office system. Calendar/Daily Planner; Accordion File (1-31); Manila Files with the Months of the Year (Or you can make them up yourself - a lot less expensive); Hanging Files; Manila Files; Boxes and Envelopes (9 x 12).

The calendar/daily planner will contain all appointments, meetings and deadlines for project.

The accordion file dated 1-31, along with the Manila Files with the Months of the Year will contain materials you have tickled. The tickler file is a very popular system in legal offices. Any materials you need to act on by a certain date are tickled, usually one week in advance. It is also used for standardized meetings. For example, if staff meetings are conducted on Friday, place a Manila folder entitled Staff meeting in the Friday slot, and place any agenda items or meeting items in the folder. Remember to tickle it for the day before the meeting, if you need to make up the agenda, or give agenda items to someone else. This system is also excellent for gathering information for client meetings. This system will also serve to give you a clean desk, as you can place To Do items for the next day in your tickle file. It is also used to put in notes to yourself to follow up on certain items.

The hanging and manila folders are for your files. Boxes are for your records and files to be stored in at the end of the year.

The 9 x 12 Envelopes are used to hold your receipts, canceled checks, expenses and income sheets. You should label one envelope Income and place your income sheet in the file and note when any checks come in. Label one other envelope as Expenses and put in it all receipts for purchases, canceled checks, and any other expenses you generate. At the end of the month tally up the monthly totals. I place the month on the envelope and separate my expenses into categories, such as supplies, telephone, utilities, copying, postage, etc., put the total cost next to the category and then a final total. At the end of each month’s tally, paper clip or staple that month’s receipts together, place them back in the envelope and file for the following month. Since most self employed individuals pay estimated taxes every 3 month period, the envelopes will have 3 months on them, for example, October, November, December. Remember bundle each month’s items separately. Seal the envelopes, file them, and then you are ready to calculate the amount to pay the IRS for the next estimated period.

In December of each year:

1. Box up last years files.

2. Make up new hanging files and manila folders for the new year. If you are need of a label program, Avery Pro for the laser is excellent. It is easy to use, you can import files from popular word processing programs and it has its own database manager, which will allow you to re-run these same files for the next year.

3. Enter all standard meetings in your calendar or planner for the coming year.

4. Put all your income, expenses and other records you need for tax preparation in one box. Run your spreadsheet program or financial program to see what your income and expenses came to for the year. Do up a budget for the coming year, a projections sheet to determine how many clients you need to increase profits, and cut any extraneous expenses.

Following this system will enable you to spend more time on growing your business. Good luck. For more organization and time management strategies for your business, check out our Home Business Manual at www.homebusinesssolutions.com/products/products.htm

Copyright 2000, DeFiore Enterprises

Interested in having your own successful, home based creative real estate investing business? Chuck and Sue have been helping folks start successful home based businesses for over 19 years, and we can help you too! To see how, visit http://www.homebusinesssolutions.com for the latest FREE tips and tricks, educational products and coaching in creative real estate investing and home based businesses. No time to visit the site? Subscribe to our “how to” Home Business Solutions Digest, it’s like having your own personal coach: mailto:subscribeHBS@homebusinesssolutions.com

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When The Spirit Leaves The Body

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I’m talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside of your body.

What does it even mean to “be outside” of one’s body? Well, in order to appreciate what this means you must have an experience of your “Self” first and then you must be able to “feel” where that “Self” is geographically speaking.

So let’s start with the first part. In order to get an experience of your “Self” think of some quality or characteristic that you like about yourself. Then spend some time appreciating yourself for this quality or characteristic.

Now as you do this notice where you experience the feelings of appreciation. Do these feelings feel like they’re inside you or outside of you? Now most people will feel such feelings inside the boundaries of their bodies (i.e. the definition of the word “inside”).

There are some of you however who may experience such feelings outside of the physical body. If you do then this is an indication of where you are in relation to your body. That is because “you” are doing the appreciating and therefore the location of those feelings correspond to where you are.

Now the “you” I’m referring to is the “life energy” that is you.
So if this life energy that is you is outside of your physical body what is the consequence to your physical body of you existing outside of it?

In order to appreciate the answer to this question notice how your body feels to you when you find yourself outside of it. If you are able to carry out this observation I think you will recognize that your physical body will appear and feel de-energized. Another way of saying that is that your physical body is lacking the life energy that is required to sustain it in health. In other words it is dying!

Are you surprized? Well you really shouldn’t be because most of you at some time or other find yourself outside of your bodies. How do I know this? I know it because if you look at your physical body you’ll notice that it has been aging and another way of saying this is that it has been dying. Yes, aging and dying are the same thing, although many of us prefer to hide this fact from ourselves by using the more “graceful” former term.

What is it that causes us to leave our bodies unattended even for a brief moment? Well if you notice how it feels to be in your body when there is pain or emotional hurt in it you will recognize that this experience is not a pleasant one. It is at these times that we often want to be as far away from the pain as possible.

The “belief” is that by getting as far away from our bodies the better we will feel. From the discussion above that is like saying: “death will bring me peace”. How does that feel to you?

In my experience as a psychiatrist and healer I have observed how individuals who have experienced trauma of one sort or another during their lives have made such a choice to abandon their bodies.

At the same time it doesn’t require one to experience severe or acute trauma in order for one to make this choice. Over one’s life time the small misfortunes and dissapointments that we all experience and contribute to our rising stress levels have the exact same effect.

That effect is to seduce us into believing that leaving our bodies unattended thereby making them vulnerable to aging and death is going to make us feel better. I have never noticed in all my years as a physician anyone who felt good as they were dying.

In order for your body to remain healthy and for you to feel good your body requires “you” to remain in it at all times!

Hence the solution to the discomfort you have stored in your body as emotional trauma is NOT to leave the body, it is to purge the trauma!

Using a new process called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) over the last 10 years I have observed how individuals have been able to release such trauma simply and permanently and how they have been able to return their life energy more fully back to the body.

This has left their bodies feeling and looking younger, more resilient and more alive.

If you’d like to experience this for yourself kindly visit the web link below and request an introductory consultation.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/Spirituality_And_Science.htm

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Stress Management - Problem Land or Solution Land

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

In my experience, most of us spend a lot more time living in problem land, griping and complaining, than we do in solution land, working hard and enjoying solving problems.

It’s almost become a national past time. Just check out a talk show or a self help book. Almost all the time and space is spent describing, giving examples, and complaining about the problem, with, if we’re lucky, only a glimpse at possible solutions.

Drives me nuts.

Having said all that, let’s look at some signs and symptoms of problem land and some signs and solutions for solution land.

How to Live in Problem Land

Complain. A lot. Raise it to an art form.

When something goes wrong, immediately look for someone to blame.

A cousin to the one above, when something goes wrong, take no responsibility for changing things.

Keep a working list of all offenses ever done to you, and bring them up when anything bad happens.

Spend 95% of your time focusing on and complaining about the problem, and only 5% on working toward a solution. This my biggest gripe with most self-help books.

Make lots of disempowering, self-defeating statements, such as:
“This isn’t fair.”
“This shouldn’t be happening”
“This isn’t my fault”

Follow this up with disempowering, self-defeating questions, such as:
“Why is the world out to get me?”
“Why doesn’t God like me?”

Or as Rabbit says in Winnie the Pooh, “Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?”

All of above factors keep your focus on the problem instead of the solution. At best, you may be able to get someone to feel sorry for you, and at worst, you stay stuck in the problem.

How to Live in Solution Land

Number one rule. When problems arise (and they will), look for solutions. In the movie “Rising Sun”, actor Sean Connery has this great line, “In America, when something goes wrong, we look for someone to blame. In Japan, when something goes wrong, they look for solutions.”

Consider this quote from Richard Bach, author of “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.”: “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it’s hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts.”

Ask questions that lead to action, such as:
“How can I make this work for me?”
“What might be the gift for me in this problem?”

Spend no more that 5% of your time and energy complaining about the problem, and 95% of your time and energy creatively solving the problem.

Consider these solutions oriented questions from motivational expert Tony Robbins:

What’s not perfect yet?

What’s good about this problem? If you can’t think of anything good, ask “If there was something good about this, what would it be?”
What am I willing to do to solve this problem?

What am I willing to no longer do to solve this problem?

What actions can I take that will help me solve this problem and enjoy the process?

“There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice and small enough to solve quickly.” Attack problems early and head on, before they have a chance to grow.

I’ll close with a fantastic quote from W. Mitchell, one to live by: “It’s not what happens to us in life that makes the difference. It’s what we do about it.” In other words, we have the power of choice. Problem land or solution land, which will it be for you?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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Chewing On Mindfulness - Gum Is Your Secret

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger years, was a gum-chewer. She was never without a pack or two of Wrigley’s Doublemint gum. She wasn’t a snapper or
bubble-blower–she viewed that as highly uncivilized.

Grandma kept her mouth closed, thank you very much, and her chewing silent. She insisted that it helped her concentrate. It turns out that she was right. Research has shown that chewing does indeed increase our ability to concentrate and to retain what we’ve learned.

In fact, studies indicate that, for both kids and adults, mental tasks are completed up to 20% more effectively when we chew gum. Here’s why: When we chew–whether it’s food, gum or just air–we respond by salivating, which releases a surge of insulin. Our body gets ready for a meal. The insulin leads to an increased heart rate and sends glucose and oxygen to our brain.

The result? This blast of brain food helps us learn faster and retain this information longer. If that’s all it takes to boost learning, I’m all for it! In fact, I’d like to suggest that we chew gum as a mindfulness exercise. Really. Perhaps instead of “Om” we should be chanting “Grom-grom-grom”.

Why not? We already know that mindfulness can be very effectively practiced during repetitive physical activity. It’s hard to find a more repetitive and less demanding activity than chewing gum!

Try this: Sit comfortably in any position that allows you to breathe with a relaxed belly. Pop some gum into your mouth and begin chewing. Pay attention to the burst of flavor and accompanying saliva. Feel the texture of the gum as it softens and stretches.

Focus on chewing the gum on only one side of your mouth ten times, then switch to the other side. Continue as you slowly chew, allowing yourself to count to ten before switching sides again. Keep this up for about two minutes while concentrating on the chewing motion.

Simple? Sure. Mindfulness IS simple. And it can become pretty easy to focus for short periods, especially if we have a particular physical activity as the center of our attention.

Many people find this a much easier and more effective way to experience mindfulness than simply sitting and watching thoughts. There’s no need to make mindfulness difficult, uncomfortable or woo-woo. If chewing gum is good for your brain, take advantage of it as an easy way to practice mindfulness.

On a bus? At your desk? Take a two-minute break to chew gum. Nobody needs to know what you’re doing. It will be your minty little secret.

Salvation? Okay, maybe not. Here’s to salivation!

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun and effective eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com

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Use Your Intuition As a Valuable Tool for Change

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006

Here’s a subject that we don’t normally think of when we think about change. Yet, intuition can be a very powerful force for change if we honor it fully. So let’s take four minutes to look at intuition. First we’ll look at what it isn’t, then at what it is, then at just how it relates to change in our lives.

Intuition is NOT a mystical power. It’s NOT something special, a gift granted only to a select few (mostly women, if we’re to believe the folklore). Intuition IS a natural faculty. Every one of us—male or female—was born with the brainpower to be intuitive, to detect the miniscule events, appearances, nuances of tone and of glance that send us unspoken signals that are often quite reliable. What happened to us as we grew up was that we learned how to ignore or dismiss these signals.
In order to be used to its fullest potential, intuition has to be seen as a process, a skill that can be developed. Extensive research by Forbes Magazine and The Wall Street Journal has confirmed that most successful people are far above average when it comes to knowing how to recognize, trust and use their intuitive thoughts and feelings. They’re able to tune into this information by noticing it, then they incorporate it into their mental decision making processes.

Intuition, then, is a process of broadening your attention to include the impressions that come from your imagination and from your emotions as well as from your intellectual senses.

For you personally, a fully developed intuitional skill will let you gather and process information you might otherwise miss–material that can be valuable as you plan and execute changes in your life. Here’s how you can improve your intuitional “hit ratio.”

First, before you act on something you’re thinking about or planning, ask some questions, then mentally listen for the answers that come from inside yourself. It’s a good idea to write down these thoughts and feelings as they come up.

For example, you’re in a business situation that requires a “rubber meets the road” decision that could mean thousands of dollars of profit - or loss - to your company. Instead of blurting out the first answer that occurs to you, ask yourself questions like:

¨ “What long-term effects could this decision have?”

¨ “How does this decision impact others in my life/company?”

¨ “How would it alter our relative (relationship) positions – customers, vendors, competitors, etc.?”

Then stop and think about the impressions that come to mind. Concentrate on images, single words, feelings, even personal memories that might be conjured up by the questions.

As already noted, either write down or tape these impressions. And, by the way, don’t edit. Put it all down or talk it all out. Then think about these impressions for a while. It’s a little bit like dream interpretation…sometimes things aren’t absolutely clear, but when you string together all the impressions and sort them out like a puzzle, a pattern usually emerges, and that pattern is your intuitive response to the situation.

Once you’ve rounded up all the “indirect” answers and applied your intellect to your feelings, put it all in balance with a mental verification. Don’t just act on your intuitive
hunches. Align them with the practical realities of life. What you’ll have, in the aggregate, is a fully integrated decision making matrix, which will help you be very comfortable with whatever decision you make.
Laura Day, author of a book titled Practical Intuition for Success, makes a very good point when she writes in Bottom Line Personal that “…intuition can help you uncover - and even anticipate - what others want and value.

The key to this is addressing these needs as you own so that you can use all of your senses and abilities to perceive the information you need.” She calls this process the “I Mode” because it involves

· Intuition

· Integrity and

· Identifying with the Other.

When dealing with someone else, put yourself in their shoes as you listen to what they’re saying. Playing the role of that ‘Other Person,’ ask questions like:

• What do I want — and have — to offer?

• What do I need?

• What difficulties do I face now?

• Where are my opportunities?

• Who are my best resources?

• What’s missing?

• What makes me say “Yes?”

• …and so forth.

What you’ll get from this is a sense-based, intuitive insight into the other person’s processes. It’ll truly surprise you. The significance of this is, of course, that the better you know others, the more enlightened you’ll be about how you relate to them and what needs to be changed to improve that relationship.

Next, why not take this intuitive process back into yourself? Laura Day suggests a couple of exercises, and I’d like to outline them for you and to recommend them as great ways to uncover intuitive impressions about yourself - insights that can help you in your change process.

Starting with the notion that you are unique and have a lot to offer to the world, begin to look inside yourself for this “real purpose” or “right work” — the Yogis of India call it “dharma.” A great way to do this is to take the questions we just reviewed and related to others and ask them as yourself.

A wonderful, yet easy, way to build an intuitive map for yourself is to track your interests for a little while - a couple of weeks or up to a month. Every day jot down what you’re doing and how you feel about it. Focus on whatever stimulates you. Clip articles and pictures out of newspapers and magazines and keep everything in an envelope that you carry with you. At the end of the allotted time, empty out your envelope, spread out your journal pages, and then start interpreting these materials, fitting things together as in a puzzle until the information falls together - which it will - to produce a picture of your goal. And isn’t this the point of self-examination, after all?

Good luck on your intuitive journey.

Copyright 2002, 2005 Optimum Performance Associates/Paul McNeese.

Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm
specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals
and institutions through publication. His publishing company,
OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of
informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction.

Email: pmcneese@opapublishing.com
Websites: http://www.opapublishing.com and http://www.opapresents.com

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